some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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