FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize