no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
