Who did Billy Mays play for?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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