I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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