I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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