We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
