Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
