My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My vagina is officially offended.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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