I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
40s are totally the cure
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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