Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So vagazzling was a success
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
