Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
