my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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