thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
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bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
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I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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