so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
