Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize