he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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