Just cropdusted the office
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
