I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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