Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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