Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I will be naked everywhere
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
