I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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