After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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