guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he puts the penis in happiness.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm really busy with my period
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