Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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