I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think i have herpe
just one?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
