What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
