ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
