i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
