I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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