I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
