dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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