I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize