They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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