So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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