no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
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remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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