he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
