Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
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I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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