Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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