oh god the rape fog is back!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
