that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
