I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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