if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize