loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize