Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
