Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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