i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
