My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
