I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
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I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
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Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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