she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Buhtt sex?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
