it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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