would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
