So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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