You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize