And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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