I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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