Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
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he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
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Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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