Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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