Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
