so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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